40 Cents, a Homewrecker and Un-retiring in your 20’s!

Standard

Ok so we got a lot to cover in this post and I’ll try to make it as quick as possible cause I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do. And if you don’t have anything else to do-grab a snack and enjoy the ride you are about to go on!

So I know I have been away for a while and that has to do in large part with being OOT (out of town) to visit the fam-damnily in PA and NY (damn yankees). We had what is called a Horton Hoedown—which gets about 50 of my relatives on my dad’s side together every 10-15 years and enables us all to get drunk as skunks (this is where the 40cents kicks in) and make inappropriate jokes, give people ridiculous nicknames (aka Home’Wrecker’), and all in all have a great couple of days together. But before my hubby and I embarked on this adventure we had to make a stop at the Grubhole. What’s the Grubhole you may ask?!?!? It’s a cabin my grandfather built, out in the middle of nowhere-land Pennsylvania (Rexford to be exact) where there is no cell phone service, TV (yet!), or garbage disposal. There is however beautiful scenery, all sorts of wildlife that are literally within a few feet of you and a sense of CALM I have yet to find anywhere else. My hubby-Adam- had never been in our almost-9 years of marriage and dating so it was time for him to take in the fresh air and ‘rough it’ (just kidding we have running water and toilets that flush so it’s not really roughing it but whatev and didn’t I mention the fridge was stocked).

Fast forward a couple days to the Horton Hoedown celebration in Elmira, New York—specifically the Finger Lakes winery tour we took on Saturday. Imagine twenty of so folks loading a bus to visit 5 wineries in less than 4 hours. Sounds like a good time huh?!?!? Well that’s what we did and I took FULL advantage!

On a sidenote—my crazy family likes to give folks nicknames. For instance mine is Stella, my sister’s is Taffy Sue. We also have a General, Colonel, Tater, Box Car and plenty of others that don’t make sense (which is the whole point). Well somehow as a rite of passage, Adam was awarded the nickname of Homewrecker, ‘Wrecker’ for short. No you are not reading about an episode of Jersey Shore-this is really what they wanted to name him. We have no idea how he got this name since there was no ‘homewrecking’ going on when we were 18, but a drunk cousin thought it was funny so it stuck.

This is an example of a homewrecker! Adam? not so much!

Now back to Saturday—after we got back from the winery tour I tried to take a twenty minute power nap which wasn’t that hard believe me–wineries can’t take a lot out of ya. Back downstairs we went to a giant room rented out just for us and the night ensued. There was a lot of crazy dancing (hopefully no video was taken) and continued drinking. The party wrapped up and I went to bed—or at least I thought I was going to bed. At roughly 1:33am I woke up and new nothing good was about to happen. Telling my husband that I was about to ‘lose it’ I walked quickly to the bathroom and yes ladies and gents-had a one on one hugging the toilet. Well after a few minutes of that drama I knew I needed to get the awful taste out of my mouth and I always remembered what my mom (she’s a nurse) said when you had an upset tummy——-SPRITE! It cures everything right?!?!? Well Adam attempts to go get one for me and believe it or not those stupid vending machines charge $1.50 for one of those suckers. Unfortunately all the loose cash had been used earlier in the day (I digress!),

Yup- we were besties for about 5 minutes early Sunday morning!

so I was left with no option but to (wait for it-wait for it)…….call my dad so I could bum $.40! There I said it—yes the 26 year old needed change from her dad because she drank too much!  And here’s the kicker-all they had in the vending machine was Mountain Dew…Damn! So needless to say I had to hear all about it the next morning and so did the rest of my family (thanks Dad). But I will say this—by 1:57am I was feeling better than I ever had. LOL (note: This is not a regular occurrence BTW. I am not a whine-O obviously cause I can’t handle my liquor and probably total had 7-8 glasses in a 24 hour period. NEVER again!)

Hope this brings you enjoyment (at my expense) and of course as always I would love to hear from ya! XOXO

J

P.S. My girl Amanda Bynes decided she wants to Un-Retire! Really Amanda—what’s it going to be next week? I’m sure I will find out on the E! New ticker. 🙂

Advertisements

One response »

  1. Jenny..I love this story!! Do not feel bad..because you know I cant drink that much either…but I can’t believe you had 7 to 8 glasses of wine!! I will have to talk to your dad for the story!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s